Nunzio Totaro's way: open-minded management that allows autonomy

The biggest challenge is to get a team working so well that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. That applies to big teams too, but even more to small ones. If you achieve success together, that acts like a multiplier on self-confidence. And that in turn helps to get things done. Of course if, like us, you have to convince customers about invasive things like schedule changes.

When we jointly succeed in landing big contracts. I always celebrate that kind of thing with my people. It does not have to be extravagant, small things sometimes have just as much or more impact. I do try always to do something that I know is just a little bit different for those who are joining me, just a bit different to what they are used to. For me that also adds some fun to the work.

People find me forthright, I've been hearing that all my life. Currently the fashionable word is authentic, a word that makes my toes curl. I am unable to act otherwise, smooth paths give me the creeps and I always am drawn to the edges. And I speak from the heart. Sometimes that is a problem, but equally my directness usually triggers a reaction. That means that I am able to avoid falling into my own traps.

That came during a management training at KLM in the 1990s. In a group training with all kinds of middle managers we had to give someone else some feedback. Three people picked me, which finally led me to the realisation that until then I had just been playing a role. I behaved in the way that I thought a successful manager ought to behave, but it was not really me. Since then, I've done things differently.

In addition, I have had some very high financial peaks, and also some very deep troughs where I had to use all my skills just to stay afloat. If you have lost almost everything, but then have recovered from it, owning things takes on a quite different meaning. I know I can manage without them, which makes me manage in a much more open-minded way, allowing more autonomy. I see my own limits more easily and only spend my time on the problems that truly belong to me. Both when dealing with my own people and with clients.

It is always great if people can just be themselves with me, even if they don't really feel comfortable. I once had an employee with whom things just did not feel right, but I couldn't put my finger on what exactly was going on. Finally, she dared to tell her story and it seemed that she had been through a very shocking experience. It was hard to hear, but afterwards we could do something to help. The result: she ended up feeling more at ease, and her work picked up again fast. Nowadays, when our paths cross, we know what we went through together, and that creates a bond for life. I've experienced a few situations like this during my working life, and that makes me feel good.

Leadership will be become increasingly less hierarchical, and it will become more and more important to convince people. I also don't believe in the attitude "work is work and home is home". You are a human being, and as a manager you must take that seriously. That also means that you as a manager need to feel good about yourself. Otherwise you are play-acting a role and people will not take you seriously. Let people be who they are, and don't judge.

That is not always easy. I am gay, for example, and in a country like the Czech Republic I meet many people of my own generation who have had big problems with that. For transsexuals that applies many more times over. For trans people it is extremely difficult to create a life here. Anyone who wants a transition here first has to be officially declared mentally ill (crazy) and be sterilised! And if a doctor fails to do that, it can have criminal consequences for them. I am in discussion with organisations here to introduce changes, and am trying to build up contacts with trans organisations in the Netherlands for moral support.

What is good, is that more attention is being paid from the mainstream angle to this subject. The song "You need to calm down" by Taylor Swift, for example, sent the message that you don't need to criticise homosexuals. An artist like her paying attention to this really helps.

"Be yourself" is so blindingly obvious, but still very true. In addition, don't try to avoid issues, let people see that you are open to them and then deal with them in a no-nonsense way. You can keep talking, but action is also needed. When I hit a crisis myself, I ended up living in isolation and doing physical work. That helped to compensate for just sitting fretting in my own head. It helped me to start taking some steps and climbing out of it. You tackle problems basically by doing things.

In my work I apply this rule too. When I have been doing a lot in my head, then I really enjoy doing something with my hands in between times. Repotting plants, cutting the grass, clearing out a cupboard... something with an immediate result. Look for pressure valves that help you to feel good about yourself. And give others space to do the same.

I hate micromanagement, it is no good for anyone. And personal development plans where you have to remember precisely what the learning points were for each person. That makes everything really artificial, but at the same time it is still not transferable. If another manager has to take it over they will anyway start over again from the beginning. Instead, put on the agenda in practice each day what needs to be on the agenda, and more importantly, just do it. Focus on what people are good at and how you can create an all-round team. Don't let things fester, communicate clearly and simply.

I have great admiration for Vladimir Luxuria, by far the most famous trans person in Italy and one of the best-known Italian TV-personalities. A really intelligent, combative, civilised, elegant and charismatic personality. And not least, comes from the same place that my family comes from. From a poor background, earlier vilified relentlessly, finally admired by many. Recently she came to the Czech Republic and I was able to have lunch with her. Really impressive, what an inspiring woman!

Otherwise, I plough my own furrow mainly. That can lead to confrontation, but I do it also to help other people to move forwards. Conflict can be very productive in this way, provided you manage it respectfully. Under pressure, things sometimes become more fluid. If you can combine that fact constructively with certain techniques then you can move forward.

Nunzio started his career in 1989 with KLM as a scheduler, but rapidly move up into a management role. A role that seemed to have been designed exactly for him. Then he provided coaching both in the Netherlands and abroad, including with USG People and Humares His latest challenge is in the Czech Republic, to grow and expand the Central European branch of Déhora – a full service consultancy office in the area of workforce planning and management. In parallel he fights for equal treatment for LGBTQ people. He was recently nominated for his efforts for the "Heroes for LGBTQ Equality on the Workplace Award".